Home from the Hospital

Ok, so it wasn't the ending to the weekend I'd planned. Not hardly. It was just supposed to be a birthday celebration for my sister-in-law with the rest of the family. Dinner, cake, gifts - you know the drill.

As we sat down to eat I was beginning to feel poorly. That "oh, geez, not the stomach flu" kind of feeling. "I'll take it easy, not eat too much and do my best to make it through to the end of the night." Or so I though.

My wife tells me that I become pretty lethargic through dinner. I wouldn't hold up my end of the conversation with my nephew. I didn't go back for a burger, the hot dog was sufficient. I was a little too quick to watch my daughter in the living room while others conversed in the kitchen. I'm sure, had things gone differently, we'd discuss this on the trip home.

Later into the evening, I returned from the bathroom and joined the family in the living room. I wasn't feeling great and was suddenly overcome with nausea. I told my wife it was time to pack up. She could see I wasn't feeling well by now. Deathly afraid of reviewing my day's dietary decisions in the living room, I got up quickly and headed for the bathroom. I almost made it. Almost.

I hit the floor right after crossing the threshold into the bathroom. Okay, I'm a home building guy - I use the lingo. I was down long enough for the rest of the family to investigate what had to be the sickening thud of my overweight frame landing without caution on the floor of the early 1900's home. My brother-in-law was there first.

I'll spare you some of the details - it wasn't my best moment. No cuts, bruises or gashes. No major damage to property. Left to my own devices, we'd have called it a night, gone home and I'd have crawled into bed after a shower and a Vernors.

Not with my wife, though. The paramedics (who called them?) were on the scene 2 minutes after the town policeman (yep, I said man, singular...). They checked my vitals. Offered me a ride to the hospital of my choice, within limits. "Nah, I'm fine". Not to be. They let me clean up a bit and then we were off.

I walked down the house steps to the gurney - just for the record.

The ride to the hospital was almost entertaining. 20 questions. I cracked jokes and asked questions. They didn't believe I wasn't in medicine ("you know the lingo..."). Sorry, just an engineer ("...figures"). This would be a quick, yet expensive trip to the ER. Better safe than sorry.

We're pulling into the hosptial. The EMS team is taking off the monitor leads. They want to get back, too...

"Hey, guys... how about putting me back on the equipment. It's happening again." Literally. As we're pulling in the parking lot. I'm blacking out. Wait, maybe this isn't what I thought it was.

The cool thing about passing out is that moment where all you want to do is sleep. You give up. It's like fighting general anesthesia. You know you're going to lose, so why fight it. Sleep sounds great. How come they keep asking me if I'm still with them. They won't let me sleep until I answer them. Hey - this defeats the purpose doesn't it?

I'd have given them grief about it, except everyone looked so serious. Once I was in the building and in a room, I began to wonder. They were cutting my shirt off (if you'd wait a second, i'll just slip it over my head. I kinda like this one...). I'm OK, just give me a minute to catch my breath.

I didn't have the 'life flash before my eyes' moment. I don't think I ever was close to that, frankly. I'm sure the ER staff is trained to look for the worst and de-escalate from there. I was a 38 year old who could be having the big one... I'm coming, Elizabeth...

Nope. Still here.

I'm sure glad.

Abbye needs her daddy. Laura needs her husband (most days). I still need to hang the drapes in Laura's office. And make the bed. And put away my clean clothes. Thank god I'd finshed the laundry.

Checkout time isn't 'til 11:00am and I'm making housekeeping wait. There's a lot in this world that needs fixing, and I can't do that anywhere else but here.

I could bore you for hours with the rest of the tale. I will, in subsequent posts, I guess. I learned a lot. Everything happens for a reason. I'm sure this did too. It's sufficient to say that after two days in the hospital (breaking a 35 year run of no overnight stays in the hospital...) I'm home. No heart trouble, no bleeding colon. No cancer, blood clots, diabetes (sorry to all of you who had that in the pool) or brain tumors.

Just me. Home with the family. A whole lot wiser, more humble, ready to take on the world. And really grateful.